Random thoughts.

I felt that it's time for some blogging again. Maybe it's a sign of feeling better, but thoughts are swirling around in my head, more than usual. Once again I followed a spontan idea and it turns out not beeing waterproof enough. It leaked. And yet, once again I learned a lession. It feels as if life's only about learning lessions. This time I followed an idea of moving to Berlin with a heart burning for the city. Without prepairing, without any clue what to do I came here. But I believed that things would work out better than last time. People were telling me "-No" but I was stubborn enough not to listen. You people were right. Now I'm here ready to go back to Sweden again. Without any place to stay for some months. I don't know what is waiting me back home, but it's surely the right thing to do. I can feel that, even if it feels like a break-up leaving Berlin. I wasn't strong enough to stay here this time either. But NO DAY has been wasted, no. Thank you Berlin for, once again, letting me explore your hidden- bars, clubs, streets, people, music, alleys and myself. I love you, I love you, I love you and I will do everything I can to move back here. It might take a while, but I'll surely come back baby. Until then, let's see what life has for me, hidden in it's sleeves.

Good morning Berlin.


Through my window.


I'll miss you.

... And then the sky turned pink...

Welcome back my old friend.

Finally I got my camera back. Exactly the same as the one that got stolen, but a new one. I'm so greatful. Even if it was hard getting money from the insurance company, I finally made it.
I've been without a camera over two months. During this time I've felt like a big part of my body roughly has been cut. Disabled kind of... These two months have just been a long long waiting. Somehow, I feel I've got better. I see another deepness. Without the camera I've trained in a subconscious way. So many times I've been looking at the surrounding, sighing and thinking that I could have captured it, and how I should have done it.
Or, maybe it's just the camera that is better or just different. Maybe cameras have souls...
Either way, I'm happy over my new baby.

~So, below you'll see some try outs at home.~

Checkpoints.

Every year, at every different season, I compare the same time with the years before. What did I do? Where was I? Who was I? Like "checkpoints". When I look at myself sometimes, I can't see the things that have changed around me. Or, the feeling I haven't accomplished anything in my life yet. I don't think I'm the only one... That's why, looking back at these "checkpoints" is a good thing to do. I look back and try to catch the feeling I had this time last year, the year before that, the year before that and so on. How did I experience everything around me? How did I take care of my thoughts? And myself?
Slowly I realize that I've grown a lot, a lot of things have happened and that I don't want to be that person I was. So this time next year who knows what I'll be thinking about me now?

Summer -08

Summer 08

Summer 08

Summer 09

Summer 09

Summer 08

Imagine someplace nice...

Where the flowers look like balloons.

Where the time almost stands still.

Where you get blinded by the sun.

Where you slowly can walk where the land kisses the ocean.

Where you try to understand the definition of infinity.

Where you can smoke in the water :)

.



Everyone should be.

So let there be silence.

Time Again...

Now it's time again, time for some blogging.. It has been a hard beginning of the year for me. Many bad things happened too close. Now I feel relatively calm and can finally focus on myself and how to go on with my life. Not only bad things have happen. Some good things have happen too. One good things is the opening of the second hand store. Here I can create things, find new ideas and be inspired. Now I got something to take care of, something to maintain.. Let's se how everything will end up, but now I know I'm here, and will be here for a little or a long while. My camera got stolen, so, I have to look through old stuff that has been forgotten, to work with. Without creating photos I feel as if a big part of me has been cut off.













Now time for bed and I feel good about myself writing here again...

Moving fast, so fast, the snowflakes won't stick.

Today I asked my brother what he does to get through something hard. He said, it's just to be, because it is how it is. It made me thinking a bit. You can never get further if you don't accept the truth, and the situation. Face the problem. It is just how it is.

One thing that makes me exited is the opening of the premises where we will run a gallery and where we will sell beautiful second hand clothes and old vintage stuff. Now I have something to work for, and soon, maybe in one week, I will buy a real professional camera! Now things start to move.

Deep snow.

Fast snow.

Slow snow.



Snow skeleton hand?

Ghost flower.

Light vs. dark.

I once said to a girl that was depressed, that there's always a light inside of you, even in the darkest moments it's still there. Even if you don't feel it or see it, don't be afraid. You just have to believe in it. Then it will shine infront of you. It will lead you.

Don't be afraid of the darkness. If it wouldn't exist, there wouldn't be any stars.

Dreams in winter.

~Dreams about my future is swirling around in my head. There's so much I want in my life right now, and I can't wait until these things will happen. Sooner or later this will come to me, only time will decide together with my will. The future will be an awfully big adventure.~

Deep frozen.

I picture myself getting freezed down. Become dreamless, breathless, timeless. And after some years when my body finally defrost, my worries and troubles would be gone, and things would be changed. What if the body and mind could work by them selves while I'm gone. What if they could take care of every problem, sort them out, pick together the pieces that's parted and fix them together again. But this wouldn't work. It will only be a wish sometimes.

Under the ice.