Imagine someplace nice...

Where the flowers look like balloons.

Where the time almost stands still.

Where you get blinded by the sun.

Where you slowly can walk where the land kisses the ocean.

Where you try to understand the definition of infinity.

Where you can smoke in the water :)

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Everyone should be.

So let there be silence.

Time Again...

Now it's time again, time for some blogging.. It has been a hard beginning of the year for me. Many bad things happened too close. Now I feel relatively calm and can finally focus on myself and how to go on with my life. Not only bad things have happen. Some good things have happen too. One good things is the opening of the second hand store. Here I can create things, find new ideas and be inspired. Now I got something to take care of, something to maintain.. Let's se how everything will end up, but now I know I'm here, and will be here for a little or a long while. My camera got stolen, so, I have to look through old stuff that has been forgotten, to work with. Without creating photos I feel as if a big part of me has been cut off.













Now time for bed and I feel good about myself writing here again...

Moving fast, so fast, the snowflakes won't stick.

Today I asked my brother what he does to get through something hard. He said, it's just to be, because it is how it is. It made me thinking a bit. You can never get further if you don't accept the truth, and the situation. Face the problem. It is just how it is.

One thing that makes me exited is the opening of the premises where we will run a gallery and where we will sell beautiful second hand clothes and old vintage stuff. Now I have something to work for, and soon, maybe in one week, I will buy a real professional camera! Now things start to move.

Deep snow.

Fast snow.

Slow snow.



Snow skeleton hand?

Ghost flower.

Light vs. dark.

I once said to a girl that was depressed, that there's always a light inside of you, even in the darkest moments it's still there. Even if you don't feel it or see it, don't be afraid. You just have to believe in it. Then it will shine infront of you. It will lead you.

Don't be afraid of the darkness. If it wouldn't exist, there wouldn't be any stars.

Dreams in winter.

~Dreams about my future is swirling around in my head. There's so much I want in my life right now, and I can't wait until these things will happen. Sooner or later this will come to me, only time will decide together with my will. The future will be an awfully big adventure.~

Deep frozen.

I picture myself getting freezed down. Become dreamless, breathless, timeless. And after some years when my body finally defrost, my worries and troubles would be gone, and things would be changed. What if the body and mind could work by them selves while I'm gone. What if they could take care of every problem, sort them out, pick together the pieces that's parted and fix them together again. But this wouldn't work. It will only be a wish sometimes.

Under the ice.

Day on the island.

On the island the winter's breeze is o pure and fresh, the wind is blowing right through you. Cleaning the body and bringing it all over the ocean. This time is so beautiful there. Today I have laughed a lot, a wonderful feeling. I've seen the beautiful things around me. Now I'm out of words. Maybe because this day has been good.

Mom and son.

Sleeping quietly.

Sture on the icey road.

Don't mess with me.

Christian on the ice.

Christian on the ice #2.

Fuck off!

Alone and happy.

Begravning | Funeral.

Nu har jag sagt farväl till min pappa, även om det känns som om jag aldrig kommer att kunna säga farväl tillräkligt. Men en begravning hjälper en människa att komma längre i sorgeprocessen. Innan begravningen kände jag mig vilsen och levde i en overklig värld, jag kunde inte förstå vad som hade hänt. Nu, när jag stod vid kistan, förstod jag att han verkligen är borta, att hans kropp var inuti och aldrig skulle vakna mer och gå igen. Nu var verkligen tiden att gråta ur mig allt jag hade. Jag tog tusen farväl och kände att nu kan jag inte göra mer. Min pappas begravning var det vackraste jag sett och det mest sorgsna jag upplevt. Jag är så glad över alla som kom och ville ta ett sista farväl. Hans vänner, kollegor, familj, nya generationer och nya familjer. Människor var samlade och det var ok att gråta. Alla delade tillsammans samma sorg. Vi pratade om hur fantastisk människa min pappa var och om de stora sakerna som han uträttade. Min pappa skulle vara så tacksam och nöjd över allt! Jag känner det. Den hårdaste delen är över, nu skall jag försiktigt försöka dra i livets trådar. Men det kommer att ta ett tag innan jag kan släppa känslan av att stå framför kistan och att aldrig vilja gå därifrån.


Now I've said my goodbye to my father, even if it feels like I'll never say goodbye enough. But a funeral helps the human to go further in the process to mourn. Before the funeral I felt so lost and lived in a surreal world, I couldn't understand what had happen. Now, when I stood by the coffin, I understood that he's really gone, that he's body were inside and will never wake up and walk again. Now was the time to cry out all what I felt. I took thousand of goodbyes and felt that I couldn't do more. My fathers funeral was the most beautiful thing I've seen and the most sad thing I've ever experienced. I'm so happy of all the people that came and wanted to say the very last goodbye. His friends, colleges, family, new generations and new families. People was gathered and it was ok to cry. All people together was sharing the same mourn. We all talked about the great person my father was and about the big things he performed.
My father would have been so thankful and satisfied over everything! I can feel it. The hardest part is over, now I'll try to pulling the threads of my life carefully. But it will take a while until I'll release the feeling of standing by the coffin and never want to leave.

Programmet jag gjorde för begravningen.
The program I made for the funeral ceremony.

Mormor Brita.
Grandma Brita.

Maria och hennes fästman Micke.
Maria and her fiancé Micke.

Sture och Christian i ljus.
Sture and Christian in light.

Bordet där vi efteråt åt tillsammans och hyllade pappa.
The table where we afterwards ate together and honoured my father.

Nu försöker jag se allt fint runtomkring mig och glädjas av det som är mig kärt.
Now I try to see everything beautiful around me and be happy over the things and people I love.

Hands of time.

Time is passing by. Changes the world everyday, leaves dust in the corners. Time makes cells in the body die and replace it with new, changes me and you everyday. I will do something I've never done before. I will lay myself in the hands of time. Now can things only get better.

My new found friend.

Sometimes the time stops for a moment.

Vila i frid pappa.

Nu är du borta och jag saknar dig så pappa. Jag vet att du vakar över mig och finns runt omkring mig helatiden, och att du alltid kommer att göra det. Jag kan känna det. Jag hoppas att där du är nu, känner du ingen smärta längre. Bara frid. Att du får träffa alla du har saknat. Det gör så ont att jag aldrig får höra din röst mer, att aldrig mer få prata med dig. Tack för alla fina samtal vi har haft. Även om du inte är här och upplever vad som kommer att hända i mitt liv, vad det blir av mig, så vet jag att du kommer att kunna se mig och vara stolt. Jag skall kämpa med dig vid min sida och göra mitt liv rikt och jag skall vara stark. Tills vi ses igen. Älskar dig pappa.

Rest in peace dad.

Now you're gone and I miss you so dad. I know that you're watching over me and are around me all time, and that you always will. I can feel it. I hope that you don't feel pain anymore where you are now. Only peace. And that you will meet everyone you've missed. It hurts so that I will never hear your voice again, to never be able to talk to you. Thank you for all the great conversations we had. Even if you're not here and experience what will happen in my life, how things turns out for me, I know that you will see me and feel proud. I will fight with you by my side and make my life rich and I will be strong. Until we meet again. Love you dad.



Familjen samlad.
The family gathered.


Pappa med sin tvillingbror Håkan och med Bent.
Dad with his brother Håkan and with Bent.


Detta är mitt hopp om vad du ser där du är nu.
This is my hope of what you see where you are now.